March 9, 2009
It's time. The past two years I have been on an emotional rollercoaster dealing with work, training and my personal life. I have been able to create a balance with training and I think I'm getting better with managing my three jobs. The last aspect of my life, which needs the most attention, is my personal life. I am embarrassed how I have lived the past two years. I have made a ton of mistakes and have taking a set back in life. Unfortunately a lot of my emotional issues now are coming from trying to make up for those mistakes. I have spent many hours trying to understand the mistakes I've made and the reason I did it. I have apologize to the people I've hurt but I didn't want to apologize until I truly understood what happen. I wanted to make sure when I did apologize it truly meant something. The emotional issue comes in when I try to make up for something but I'm unable too. I have found there are things you can't repair or make right, the damage done was just too great, I made way too many of those mistakes. I have apologized to the people I've hurt and I can honestly say that I have learned from those mistakes. I think now it's time to take the next step, to forgive myself and move forward in life. It's now time for me to take a sabbatical.
Take care, C